One thing I didn't expect during a race taper was how much time I would spend thinking. It seems that as I decreased the amount of running my body was doing, my brain picked up the slack and I have been thinking about running non-stop. 

It's seemingly been the longest week ever as I wait for race day. While Monday was all about second guessing every single thing regarding my training, Tuesday wasn't bad (oh yeah, that's because I ran), and today has been all about the weather (trust me Around the Bay runners, it hasn't changed in the last ten minutes--I checked) and thoughts of how we gauge our success as runners. 

When I started running, I aimed to get to the point where I was running certain distances without stopping or walking. I remember the first time I ran my neighbourhood 5K route without stopping and was so proud. The milestones over that first year continued as I participated in races and achieved race results that were faster than any of my training runs. 

For me, learning often comes from looking back. Running goals and paths arise from realizations of what I have been doing, sometimes somewhat blindly. This week when I compared my average pace this year to last, I discovered that it was slower, which was quite discouraging and lead to all that second guessing. Seeing photos on Instagram and Twitter of other runner's pace confirmed my snail's pace. I almost never post anything about my pace when talking about a run. I am, quite honestly, embarrassed to. 

Today, I read a great post by Jen (@prettylittlegrub) as she reflected on her recent training and reasons for not getting faster. Every word that she wrote hit home and helped me connect the dots in my recent thinking. She, like I, realized that in order to get faster (in other words, to improve) she would need to really focus her training and push herself to extremes. 

What hit me was that we were both using speed as an indicator of improvement and gauge of running success. People run for so many different reasons. So why should there be only one gauge of running success? 

I absolutely love being able to call myself a runner. I get giddy talking about running. To my non-running friends and family, every one of my accomplishments is medal-worthy. To them my plan to run 30 kilometers this weekend is both crazy and admirable (both which I love). I can guarantee they will be incredibly impressed when I tell them I finished. They won't care if I finished in 3:30 or 4:00 hours. They will ask how I felt. They will ask if I had fun. 

I'm not saying that I don't want to run faster, push harder and aim for PBs. I do. I will. But I also want to remember that speed is only one part of my success and enjoyment as a runner.

Feeling buoyed by my first half marathon last fall, I signed up for Around the Bay on November 2, 2014. I figured it would be a great next step distance goal. (Honestly, you'd think I'd have learned about stepping up the distance rule!) Given that I'd run through one of the worst winters ever in 2013/2014, I was certain I could do it again, while upping my distance. After all, I had five whole months to do it! 

I created a modified run schedule based on several full marathon training plans, and succeeded in covering distance and number of runs on my schedule each week. But ask me about quality vs quantity and my tune changes a bit. Winter happened, often slowing my pace significantly. The steep hill I used for repeats became a sheet of ice. Many runs in February went down in my running log as 'easy' rather than tempo, interval, fartlek or hills--despite the fact that they definitely didn't feel easy! 

I vividly recall struggling through a very difficult long run in January when it seemed like I was walking far more than running. The only thing that kept me going was deciding that when I got home, I would find out how I could pull out of the race. And I did look. And I can honestly say if it weren't for the no refund policy of most races, I am sure more people would cancel! 

I didn't give my bib away after that awful run in January, or an equally awful long run in February. I continued my training as the race date approached.

It is now less than a week before the race. And suddenly today I find myself second guessing everything. I look at my running log from the past couple months and compare my pace to last winter's and cringe. I should have added much more speed-work and variety. Despite all the fuel testing I did on my runs, wonder how much I should bring. I see an article on dehydration and think maybe I should consider drinking more water during the race. I can usually get through three hours without needing a bathroom break ... maybe that means I should have more water. But what if I do need to stop during the race? I've never had to line up at a porta-potty and lose time before. I trained with my hydration pack on over the entire winter but wonder if I will look like an obvious newbie with the extra gear. If I don't wear it, where will I put my fuel? Looking at the forecast, I fear becoming too cold if I don't wear enough layers, yet I know being too hot will probably be worse and I don't want to deal with trying to remove layers. Knowing the hills of the race come in the last third of the race, I wonder if I should go try to conserve my energy with a slower pace for the first 20K ... or make up a bit of time while I can and deal with the hills when I get to them knowing I will struggle anyway. And on, and on, and on.

I have never second guessed myself so much before a race. 

I spend one minute excited about meeting up with my running friends before the race, envision myself crossing the finish and getting my medal. The next minute I'm nervously fretting about some little detail. 

After that awful run in January when I wanted to back out of the race, I decided that my race goal was to finish the 30K distance and to have fun. Do I feel like this goal is obtainable? Yes. So, why is it so hard to keep these goals in mind and not get caught up in every nitty-gritty detail? Why am I second guess everything?!

I have 6 days to remind myself that I can do this. And to remember my goals. Finish, and have fun.

When I started running, my sister convinced me to sign up for the Toronto Women's 8K race with her. Since I'm a bit of a stickler for doing things in order, I decided I'd better sign up for the Scotia Toronto Waterfront 5K which was two weeks earlier. This way, the 8K would be like a distance stepping stone to the 5K. Ah, great idea--I would make this my guiding principle for signing up for races...

Cathy's race selection rule: Complete races in order of acceding distance.

5K done.
8K done. 
Okay, that makes 10K next.

I eagerly signed up for the Toronto Yonge Street 10K the following spring. While training, my sister told me about a 10K race she was doing...two weeks later in Whitby. Oh. But that would mean participating in a race that wasn't a stepping stone distance. But I had an idea... 

Cathy's race selection rule amendment: I was allowed to participate in a race as long as the distance was one I had already completed. 

Ooo! This meant I could sign up for the 5K I was eyeing to be able to run with my dog, Miley! Done. 

10K done.
Another 10K done. 
Another 5K done.

Okay. What distance is next? Hmm, half marathon? I dunno...that seemed a bit scary when I had only run 11K max. I googled races in Toronto and discovered the Midsummer's Night Run which was 15K. Perfect! I signed up. Secretly though, I couldn't stop thinking about the half-marathon. I figured I would decide if I could handle it once I ran the 15K. Then I heard about the Beaches Jazz Tune-Up Run which was in my neighbourhood. If I could run 20K, I knew I would be able to do the half. Problem was, the 20K was before the 15K...thus, out of distance order. Hmm...

Cathy's race selection rule amendment #2: It is okay to run a race out of distance order as long as you are already registered for the actual next logical distance race. 

20K done.
15K done. 
10 miler done.  Wait. How did that one get in there?!

Cathy's race selection rule amendment #3: If you are used to running in kilometers and someone offers a race distance in miles, just go for it. You'll never be able to remember how kilometers that actually is to know if it is in order anyway. 

Although the 20K tune-up run was one of the hardest runs I had done, I was confident I could complete the half-marathon distance and I signed up for the Scotia Toronto Waterfront half-marathon.

After completing the half-marathon with the pride of an amazing season, I sat down to plan out what I wanted to race in 2015. Oh. There was a local 10K race that weekend I hadn't noticed before. What a cute medal! Too soon? I thought my season was over...

Cathy's race selection rule amendment #4: If the medal is really cute, it is a local race and you can convince your friends and family you were in a bit of a recovery fog when registering, go for it. 

Half-marathon done.
Yet another 10K done.

Okay, NOW the season was done! Wait. One of the runners I follow on Twitter is having a contest for an entry into a local race in a couple weeks...

Cathy's race selection rule amendment #5: If you win a race entry, go for it!

Sigh. 

New year's resolution...although I loved every race I participated in during the 2014 season, I think it would be wise to limit my races in 2015. I went through my race lists and decided on four races for 2015. Done. That was it. 

Until my twitter running friends started talking about trail running. And NIKE announced their inaugural race in Toronto. And I thought it might be great to make half-marathons a focus and sign up for a spring half in addition to the fall half...

Cathy's race selection rule amendment #6: If you love running and participating in races, just do it ! 

Happy running!

No one enjoys hearing someone say, "I told you so." It's even worse when you have admit to yourself. The 'should have known better' incident coincidentally happened on a day I was considered to be older and wiser...yes, my birthday.  

On Saturday, my husband and I decided to celebrate my birthday by loading the dogs into the car and driving to the Niagara area for the day. Along the way, we stopped at Tim Hortons for tea. Hubby had a winning 'roll-up-the-rim' tab for a doughnut and asked me if I wanted it. Sure! For lunch, I had a burger--and yes--fries. On the way home, we stopped at Pickards Peanuts for chocolate almonds. That evening we had take-out pad-thai, yeung-chow fried rice...and Dairy Queen Blizzards. 

Gasp.

I should quickly mention that although I do eat things like this on occasion, I can't even guess the last time that I ate like this ALL day. I work very hard at maintaining a healthy diet and weight. When I started running in June 2013, I was further motivated to make my choices even cleaner and found my cravings for real food increased, while my cravings for junky foods decreased. Day to day, almost all of our meals are homemade with real, natural ingredients.  

On Sunday, I headed out for a 28K long run. I'm training for Around The Bay, and this was to be my longest run before tapering for race day. In the weeks prior, I had succeeded in competing 26K and 27.5K distances. I had fine-tuned my fueling, timing and clothing. So, in all honesty, I wasn't really worried about this run.

Over the first couple kilometers I felt sluggish, but it passed as I enjoyed the sun, clear sidewalks and anticipation of breaking my furthest distance record. I arrived at the half-way point and turned back, with a smile and a couple photos. I continued to nibble my run fuel and drink my water. Twice my stomach felt a little off but when I slowed to a walk, the feeling passed. All was going well until suddenly, at 25K, my knees stiffened right up and started to ache. I had experienced something similar during a training run before and was able to stretch and walk it out. I slowed to a walk. I stopped and stretched. Repeatedly. Over the next kilometer, each time I tried to run again my knees would scream back at me with pain and stiffness. Sigh. Listen to your body, my brain told me. For the first time ever, I called my husband to swing by and pick me up--just 2K from home and my record distance. 

Over the rest of the day I felt 'off'. Actually, I felt like I had just completed an intense race. My knees ached especially on stairs, while other aches that had been under control returned. I was chilled. I was tired. And, I was thirsty.

Wait. Thirsty.

Then it dawned on me. My birthday smorgasbord the day before. All the different food. All the sodium. Very little water. All the additives. All the poor quality. All. The. Food. 

So, while I had put fuel in the tank, it was a brand my body didn't recognize and didn't know what to do with. It was used to the high octane, premium fuel that had kept it firing well. 

I find that when something is going well, you get complacent and sometimes don't realize how good you have it. I truly didn't appreciate what the good food was doing for my body--until I filled it with something not so great and expected it to perform the same way. Instead I was stiff, dehydrated, sore, spent.  

To further prove the power of good fuel, over the next day I returned to eating my usual foods. Oatmeal, fruit, veggies, lean meat, peanut butter. And as the day went on, I felt better. And as the week went on, my energy returned and pain disappeared. 

Sigh. Yep, I should have known better. I've had to remind myself that it's not just the fuel you eat right before or during a run that matters. It's the food you eat everyday. 

Alright body, lesson learned. 

Many of my friends were jumping on the juicing bandwagon. Although the ingredients in fresh made juice are extremely healthy, I have always preferred to eat my calories rather than drinking them! I found the idea of losing the fiber and pulp counter-intuitive to ingesting these foods in whole form. 

I decided that if I was going to drink my veggies and fruit, I was going to do it my way! Using a blender to mix whole foods. No artificial sweeteners. No processed foods or powders. And while it could taste healthy, it also had to be something I would enjoy. I created several recipes and quickly learned what ingredients worked and what didn't (see smoothie #1). Most importantly, any veggie with a strong smell will retain its smell even if blended with a bunch of yummy fruit! 

All of the recipes below have between 100-200 calories. I use them on days I run as a recovery snack. 

Have any green smoothie recipes you would like to share? Comment below!